An Open Letter To The Parents Of Bullies

Now that school is back in session for the New Year, there is something I would like to address on bullies. While the teachers, counselors and other parents are busy trying to teach your children not to be a bully, you might want to jump in here and so some of the work yourself.

The first thing should be getting out of denial that your child is a bully. How do you recognize if he or she is a bully, pay attention to their behavior? I’m willing to bet if they are a bully outside the home, they are a bully at home also.

Don’t use the excuse you are too busy. You chose to be a parent so now is the time to step up and be one.

When I say pay attention to their behavior, that means if they are posting on any social media sites you need to see what they post. If they are under 21, live in your house, use your internet, or use a phone you bought them, then they should be following your rules. It’s not an invasion of privacy, it’s your job as a parent. Don’t treat them like your best friend, treat them like your child.

While behavior toward others should be taught when they are young, it’s really never too late to start or reinforce good behavior. I often hear parents say their child is too young to understand, but the reality is they are never too young. Just as you teach them touching something may hurt them, that is the time to teach them about hurting others.

If your child comes home with money or things you have no idea where they came from, ask questions and find out. Just as you would not want your child to give away an expensive item you bought them for Christmas, it’s not a far cry to understand some other parent wouldn’t approve of their child giving away that item either. As a parent, find out where and how they acquired the money or item, who it was taken from and make them return it with an apology.

Now comes the hard part, look at your home life and see if there is something there causing this type of behavior. Children often learn from what they see around them. Are they getting the idea this type of behavior is okay because they are seeing it in a parent or sibling acting this way with no consequences for their actions? While you might get offended by this remark, maybe it’s time to take a good look at the situation.

Before you ask, no, I do not have a professional background in counseling. What I do have is many years of experience as a parent, grandparent with a large family full of children. Seriously, most of what I’ve written here is just common sense rules of parenting.

With this article, I’m joining the masses of people trying to stop bullying. I’ve seen and read too many articles on our youth feeling like their only way out of the situation is to end their own lives. How sad this can be prevented by intervention of the parents of the cause of their suffering.

So, not only am I asking more people to not just speak up but to take action, but also asking the parents of these bullies to take a look at their child and put a stop to their bad behavior. I’m not now, nor would I ever, call a child bad, but instead ask them to reflect on their bad behavior. As a mother of two boys, I often had to address their behavior but also had to make sure there were consequences to face if they acted out.

Please feel free to leave your comments, good or bad, and I’ll try to address them in a timely fashion. Thank you for allowing me to voice my concerns.